Posted by mmealltalk on June 5, 2010, at 11:53:49
Help- my therapist used to really like me and I knew I was special to her and all that. It was so hard to admit to myself that she was feeling that & I'd tease her that she doesn't care etc. Well now I think my worst nightmare has come true. After a devastating year in her life, most recently the death of her husband she is acting differently in session, which she acknowledges and though she remains professional, with a few slip ups, she is mourning an important loss and its affected her. She, unlike me who feels this will go on forever, believes that with time she will return to her old self. But in the meantime I fear I am losing her. She doesn't feel as available and I don't have that old feeling that I am really special to her and she really cares about me. (She reassures me that my feelings are mine and she hasn't lost her feelings about me). Anyway, I have the problem of feeling abandoned which is the story of my life plus the problem of feeling like there are things going on in my life that I don't want to share as it might be too close to home for her and hurt her feelings. (Ie- my dad d/n attend my nephews b-day party & I was so upset but I felt like her husband will never again attend their grand kids party so I should be happy that at least my father is here. She d/n react neg when I told her but its the fact that I feel uncomfortable discussing stuff). I do feel like she is mad at me, and I even tell her that her husband who I knew and who liked me would never want her to hate me and be mad at a time like this. Sorry, I am babbling but most important is that I miss the therapist I used to see before she was hurting so much and I guess I need to find support other ways.
Thanks for reading all this,
Mel
poster:mmealltalk
thread:949988
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/949988.html