Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2010, at 23:56:51
In reply to Therapist's husband died, posted by mmealltalk on March 26, 2010, at 15:43:24
I am so sorry.
I think your reaction sounds perfectly normal. Of course this would shake you, both in terms of recalling your own loss and in terms of disrupting a stable source of support.
I experienced it to a lesser extent when my therapist lost his mother. It's hard to give them the time to pull themselves back together so they can come and be a therapist to others again. And sometimes it's hard to go back to therapy and talk about the issues caused by their loss, or even about our own issues, knowing the grief they must be feeling.... Or so it was for me anyway.
Can you spread your support network out a bit wider for a while? Distribute the weight to other legs on your support stool (so to speak)?
Babble, friends or family, and if necessary a fill in therapist?
It of course isn't your therapist's fault, and it's totally understandable that she'll be gone for a while and at less than her best for a while longer perhaps. I can definitely feel a lot of compassion for her, while at the same time I understand that your needs don't disappear when she isn't available to meet them. In fact, it's perfectly logical that they might grow stronger. It's even worse because of the nature of the relationship. It's not one where you can share her grief, or be a comfort to her. All the compassion you feel for her has no natural outlet. So definitely, lean on as many sources of strength as you can find.
poster:Dinah
thread:940981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100303/msgs/941029.html