Posted by rnny on February 13, 2010, at 3:45:03
Again, not trying to look for trouble but needing to talk about this stuff. No one else to talk to about it yet I think about it and wish I did have someone. Has your T ever laughed at something you said and you didn't think what you were talking about was funny? I have found that to be the case with the new T. I actually started crying when she started to laugh at something and she then explained she wasn't laughing "at" me, blah, blah, blah. What difference does it make if you laugh? If you laughed, you laughed! I have to get used to her new personality. My old T would have been very sweet and actually said the words "I am sorry". She was really sweet about that. Not that I am looking to be waited on hand and foot but I would have liked to have heard the words "I am sorry" from the new T. Instead she gave me an explanation ("I was not laughing at you, it was a nervous laugh, etc.) Not begging for forgiveness but I know if I made someone cry I would say "I am sorry", it would come naturally. I am not sure if new T knew how deeply she hurt me. My old T and I worked a long time on a problem I had that I wanted to change.. a very long time and I still have not mastered the problem. It is a problem I am ashamed of (telling people to f--- off when I am mad at them and at times when other people are around. It makes me look bad and offends those around me and the person I said it to.) Was working with old T to change from using vulgar language and finding other ways to express myself. New T thought it was funny somehow and it wasn't funny. I worked very hard to break this habit. When she laughed that I had this problem I was working on and I started crying I think "I am very sorry" would have been in order. She also started to laugh when I told her another personal thing. She said she thinks it was a nervous laugh because she honestly wasn't laughing at me. But what difference does it make. Later on in the session I wanted to tell her something realated to the subject was finding it extremely hard because I was sure she was going to laugh. I believe her, but still. I mean I don't think she was "mocking me", that kind of laughter, but geez.
poster:rnny
thread:936916
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100128/msgs/936916.html