Posted by MysticKangaroo on January 21, 2010, at 6:37:43
Feeling a bit fragile. I have been working with this T for the last 4 months. (Previous T for 10 years. He died.) I trust her and I think it is going well. Trouble is she takes half of December and all of January off. I have been doing ok. I can email her whenever I like. She will reply late Jan. So so far no replies. I am feeling a bit disconnected. I have been thinking that I have been very brave and got out and mixed and mingled. I have not let depression or anxiety define too many days.
If I am doing such a good job why do I want to cry? I have to fight myself to stay out of bed. I am getting worried because I have had the last 6 weeks off work and I go back next week. PPl ask me if I want to come back, am I ready to come back. I want to cry and say no I hate work. (If only the mortgage could be paid with tears I'd be rich)
I am supposed to care but I am in it for the money.
This is too hard to do on my own. I know the timing is not my T's fault but hey 4 months in is a bit too soon. If I can manage all this why do I need therapy in the first place?? Cos we both know that managaging is about all I am doing. I want her back now! I am lost, scared and hurting. I know she will come back but I am scared she won't.
poster:MysticKangaroo
thread:934536
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/934536.html