Posted by Nadezda on December 29, 2009, at 12:03:57
In reply to T said I hurt her feelings!, posted by rnny on December 28, 2009, at 16:35:53
Hi, rnny.
I agree with what others have said-- that it's helpful if your T can non-judgmentally bring up something between the two of you, that illustrates an important issue. It's the most vivid and immediate way of working on it-- because you both shared the experience, it's not just something that you have to describe from memory.
I'm sorry you feel sad. I don't think what you said is horrible-- but it would really hurt most people's feelings to be told that they were stupid, or to have it implied. Everyone has self-esteem issues about being intelligent, and having something valuable to say. So maybe you could put yourselves in your T's position and see if your words would have hurt you. We all do things like this without knowing it-- and the more we become aware of how others might feel, the more we can be careful-- and avoid later regrets, too.
It really is a sign of trust in the relationship that your T can bring it up-- she must feel you're open to hearing her, and not closing up. So it could be a step on not building your relationship with her and with other people over time.
Nsdezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:931287
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/931420.html