Posted by workinprogress on November 18, 2009, at 0:43:00
In reply to about therapy, posted by tetrix on November 17, 2009, at 23:38:34
Hi there Tetrix-
Therapy is a tricky thing. I know I felt a lot worse before feeling better. I went into therapy to deal with a relationship ending. My therapist said: "you're not here about xxx, you're here about you". I totally didn't believe her, but sure enough, after getting through xxx I ended up taking a look at me. I didn't think there was anything to look at, but boy was I wrong.
And as far as transference aside, I would say it is the connection I feel with my T, the fact that she is more of a mother than my mother, that is the reason I have learned and grown the most. Because I have attached to her and come to trust her. That's meant we've dug deeper.. deeper all the time. And in the end, for me, it's the relationship and our conversations through and about that relationship, that have done the most healing. So, I can't really put transference aside, at least if you're looking at positive transference and connection to your T. Because that is what I honestly would say is the key to my growth. Someone loving and caring about me completely unconditionally has allowed me to start doing that for myself.
Now, to be fair, I don't have serious mental health issues (at least that my T has shared with me or that I've otherwise been diagnosed with), but I've grown from almost no sense of self/self-esteem to pretty immense amounts.... MAGIC.
It could be that your therapist is not the right fit. Have you talked to your T about how you're feeling? That's the most common piece of advice on Babble. If you haven't, I suggest you do. Ask your T what they think, tell your T what you think. Talk it through, make a plan about what you want and talk to your T about expectations. Change doesn't happen overnight, but maybe you are stuck... or maybe your expectations are too high, it's hard to know without knowing more about the things you'd like to see...
If talking it through doesn't lead to a place that feels right for you- you might consider interviewing other Ts... finding out if there is a better fit out there for you.
Good luck..
WIP
poster:workinprogress
thread:926097
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091022/msgs/926101.html