Posted by workinprogress on November 12, 2009, at 23:44:45
Hey there all... So, I *adore* my therapist. I've totally adopted her as the mom I've never had. She's done a great job playing that role- she's very willing to be what I need her to be. But, she and I talk about growing up a lot- how she's "growing me up".
I've spent a lot of time in the painful baby/toddler phase. Now, I'm growing and she's pushing (appropriately, but not without occasional resistance on my part) me to continue. I'm here in adolescence I think. I can do way more on my own, work things through, figure things out, etc.
BUT... I get scared. I don't *need* her in the way I used to, but I still *need* her. It's like I don't need her for as many specifics, but I need her to be a guiding presence in my life. Does that make any sense? Today I really didn't have much to share with her- things are going well. I mentioned maybe it's time to go back down to once a week (I've been seeing her twice a week for most of the year- we've been working together for 2.5 years- some once a week, some twice). But, I find myself uneasy at the prospect, even if I don't have much to share.
I guess it's fear. I guess it's worry over her not being there, over losing the connection we have. She always assures me that while our relationship will change, the connection will only grow.
Anyway.... any people have advice on getting comfortable moving to more infrequent sessions? How you managed it? Coping mechanisms for the less frequent contact? How did it change the dynamics? I really like the twice a week continuity, we go deeper that way, but I have a hard time justifying it when I don't have much to talk about... I mean, I love just seeing her and being around her, but without something to talk about that seems a little silly...
I'd love any feedback...
Thanks,
WIP
poster:workinprogress
thread:925556
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091022/msgs/925556.html