Posted by rnny on October 15, 2009, at 21:52:20
In reply to cutting contact with parent, posted by blahblahblah on October 8, 2009, at 5:32:20
My mood is really effected by my mother so I have to limit contact. She is a mother who has never loved me. So being around her is not a positive experience for me. Yet everyone wants a mother. The part of me hungering for a mother wants to be around her and the part of me who wants to be strong, independent and healthy doesn't. I don't need a "mommy" at this age, I could use a mother but she can't be either and it is a sad truth I have to face, confront and accept. Pretending otherwise worsens my mental health. Here is a bizarre comparison. I worked with a gal once who admitted her husband was gay and even bringing his gay lover home for sex! This lady had to really face some painful truths. I mean about her marriage and about the man she fell in love with. To "pretend" he wasn't gay would have been very destructive for their marriage. For me to "pretend" that everything I have felt or imagined concerning my mother isn't real or true only complicates things. I am better off facing the painful truth and grieving the matter.
poster:rnny
thread:920167
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/921065.html