Posted by Garnet71 on September 10, 2009, at 21:07:01
I found wonderful new T who has all the qualities I was looking for. It's been a little less than 2 months, and he's already created a totally safe environment for me to express myself with little inhibitions or worries, in a way that will totally support my growth. I feel free to discuss and reveal anything and everything, so far.
My only concern, and I just realized this, is that the transference now feels like friendship rather than parent-child like it did initially. Maybe it is temporary, I don't know. He is just a few years older than my mom.
I think it's because he self-discloses alot...he's analytic/psychodynamic based, a PDoc too, but tells me a lot of personal stuff, his countertransference feelings, and we have common interests and we get off track in conversations... We are actually alike in many ways in thought, belief system, philosophies, interests. He told me some things about his own experience in analysis, his childhood, marriage, etc. He said he'd answer anything I asked but has boundaries that if he is having current emotional problems, family conflict, concerns, etc., he'd never discuss it because it wouldn't be fair to me. He said he'd also not answer anything if he thought it wouldn't be helpful. He's a contextual thinker, so likes to relate stuff to his personal experiences, other patients, etc.
His disclosure style actually facilitated my trust in him, in many ways. He is the most honest, non-judgmental mental health professional I've ever dealt with. So comforting. He personally knows the last T I tried therapy with very well, the one who traumatized me, infered they were friends, and said he is so "old-school" and a blank screen, but he doesn't believe in that style of therapy. He really helped me with that situation.
I really like his personality and appreciate his self-disclosure. But at the same time, I'm wondering if this could affect my progress. So I guess my question/concern is, is it possible to develop a "friendship" transference, is this good, will this change, should it be more parent-child like? Can it work this way? Has this happened to anyone else? Just a bit confused here. I don't have a lot of experience with this type of therapy.
poster:Garnet71
thread:916433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/916433.html