Posted by Garnet71 on August 18, 2009, at 22:54:49
In reply to finally diagnosed with personality disorder, posted by deerock on August 18, 2009, at 20:36:17
Hey Deerock,
My T said just about EVERYONE who comes into his office has a mix of traits from several or many of the personality disorders. It doesn't mean a lot in terms of 'defining you'. It just is a way to describe a set of core issues you particularly deal with. Core issues that usually came from childhood abusive or neglect--things that happened to you that you did not deserve.
It is more effective to treat to define IT (the issues) - IT is not defining YOU. There is a whole, content, defined self, functional, innocent you lying under those core issues......Defining a PD makes it easier to treat because doctors can be taught how to treat specific PDs in classes if there is a concrete name to recognize, describe it, and discuss how to treat it, and because there is research on each particular PD - research that helps to prognosis of anyone suffering from a set of issues that can constitute a particular disorder. Most people have such traits. Some people have more traits predonimantly from one as opposed to the other(s).
A disorder of the 'self' has been sometimes referred to as narcissistic personality disorder. There are many schools of thought revolving around object relations, attachment theory, etc. But the 2 larger schools of thought that contain much of these micro aspects (that I can see) seem to be the psychoanalytic/psychodynamic view and the other is the DSM view. If you are interested in learning more, you might want to look at the psychoanalytic/dynamic view--it makes more sense than the DSM; it explains a lot. If you google NPD and narcissistic, etc., it's not going to be very helpful, imo. I think if you are interested in learning about it, you'd be best off reading about attachment theory and object relations in regard to NPD. Stuff like Kohut and Kernberg and Bowlby. There are so many conflicting opinions out there and I don't think the DSM describes the complexities.
I am not educated in this stuff, but was in a relationship with someone with NPD for a long time, so I've read a lot about it....and have been interested in your posts, have been following them since you got here. I think you are doing remarkably well-I am really impressed at your self-introspection and overall progress. Perhaps only a guess, it seems you have a very skilled therapist and you should stay with her. The best type of therapy for NPD (if my guess of a disorder of self is not incorrect) is definitely the type of therapy you are in. Without a doubt.
Often someone with NPD characteristics takes a long time to get close to a therapist; after you do feel an attachment, the urges to destroy the object of your pain are worked through. It's a rage to destruct the self-object, which your T has become under the transference. I don't understand it wholly, so I can't explain it well....I just recognized what was going on abstractly from your posts and had read about it. I guess youre not supposed to intellectualize it though--you are supposed to feel and work through everything. I was hesitant to say anything, except that you are questioning and questioning your therapist and your relationship with her, and I have been concerned you were going to give up.
I really believe that you are at the appropriate step--and once you get past this milestone,the rage and anger will dissipate, and you'll be one step closer to self-actualization. Please stay with it, stay with her. You can get through this. I really think you have an excellent T, and you are motivated to get better and putting 2 and 2 together, I can really see you overcoming your issues. Really-I think you are doing everything right. It's probably tough to recognize that right now, that it feels right, but please stay with your T and work this through.
poster:Garnet71
thread:912904
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/912918.html