Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2009, at 14:23:02
In reply to respected and understood, posted by friesandcoke on July 25, 2009, at 23:58:05
I think if I were in your place I'd feel pretty angry at my therapist for retiring, and at the other therapists for not being my therapist.
Just yesterday I was imagining myself going from therapist to therapist and accusing them of not being my therapist.
I can't recall ever feeling understood by a therapist in the first few meetings. In fact, I'm not sure it's possible, for me at least. It took my therapist years to even begin to understand me. He respected me, in the sort of way he respects all his clients. But not in any particular way as a person.
I can see finding the therapist who looked in the file cabinet during a session to be offputting. What was she looking for? And definitely the one who went on and on about herself.
What would respect and understanding look like to you? Having a set of expectations in your mind will likely help you winnow down the field to likely candidates to actually meet.
But... If I ever looked again for a therapist... I figure I'll need a transition therapist at first. Someone I can hate for not being my therapist. Before I move on to someone who isn't my therapist but at least isn't as bad as that last jerk.
poster:Dinah
thread:908592
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/908678.html