Posted by Dinah on July 23, 2009, at 11:13:05
In reply to Re: how does your therapist dress? » Dinah, posted by sassyfrancesca on July 23, 2009, at 10:16:53
I'm very big on manners and etiquette myself. My therapist always behaves with perfect propriety. I wouldn't accept anything else.
I just don't consider manners and etiquette to be connected with formality of dress. Not even warmth and welcome are connected. Someone in a suit and tie could have a very warm and comfortable smile.
Perhaps we all prefer people who dress more like us? If I were seeing a woman, I'd probably be most comfortable with someone in a graceful shirt-dress like I used to wear before I got fat. Or a flowing skirt. Ballerina flats maybe.
Not that I dress that way now. I'm so fat that shirtdresses and flowing skirts look absurd. I dress for comfort and coolness. Coolness above all. The heat is intolerable to me. I don't spend a lot on clothes, because why bother? And while I'd be perfectly comfortable with someone who dressed like me now, my bad feelings about myself would probably cause me to feel less than confident with a therapist dressed like me. Which is about me and my feelings for myself, not anyone else who dresses like me.
My ob/gyn dresses like she's about to go out on the town, in low cut and shiny clothing, and it always makes me feel very anxious. T3 was all pearls and tasteful restrained perfection of clothing. It was a bit scary to me, though I recognize that that too was about me, and my feelings about myself.
Different people feel differently, and that's why it's good that there are so many therapists.
My therapist now dresses an awful lot like my father. At least the clothes are the same. Daddy was like me. No matter what he was wearing, something was untucked or awry or tags were showing. One of my favorite pictures of myself was in first or second grade. One knee sock was at half mast. The other had slid all the way into my shoe. My shoes were unevenly worn sneakers because I tended to walk on my toes and roll outward a bit. My dress was very nice, because I had very nice clothes when I was young. But one ponytail was high, the other was low, and I had a first grader's gap toothed grin. It was so *me*. My father was the same way. My therapist wears the same clothes but (aside from zipper malfunctions) is always neat and fastidious. Even so, it freaks me out sometimes to see him in a shirt that could have come from Daddy's closet.
poster:Dinah
thread:908083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090706/msgs/908169.html