Posted by onceupon on June 23, 2009, at 21:52:26
In reply to Saw T today, posted by yellowbird01 on June 23, 2009, at 20:56:27
Hi yellowbird. I've been lurking for awhile now, too caught up in my own struggles to post, but your thread really spoke to me.
I don't know your whole story, but from what you described, I can see why you'd feel so frustrated! I may be off base here, but it feels like your therapist is the one polarizing the discussion - pulling it toward HER view of reality, rather than trying to understand yours. Perhaps she's moving more in that direction now.
In contrast to what you said about not being able to articulate your situation, I think you've articulated it quite well. It's an inherently confusing situation though, so it probably doesn't feel like it lends itself well to words. Could you possibly postpone your consultation session with the other therapist until you're able to discuss this more fully with your current therapist?
I'm curious about what your thoughts are behind thinking that you might actually be close to done with therapy. I ask because I have similar thoughts, but find myself getting drawn back in, over and over. Actually, I think I'm going to post a separate thread about my experience, because I don't want to hijack yours.
I'm also curious whether you ever talked with your therapist about wanting to, or feeling special, back when things felt "normal" with her. If so, could you possibly refer back to these earlier discussions? If not, what would it be like to talk with your therapist about the entirety of your experience - from previous times when you've seen her until now? I apologize if you've already talked about this somewhere else - I'm not at my most coherent right now.
Most of all, I hope that you're doing okay through all of this. I know the experience of gaslighting - not with my therapist, but with my husband - and it's awful, crazy making stuff. I'll be thinking about you.
poster:onceupon
thread:902532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902844.html