Posted by antigua3 on June 4, 2009, at 7:15:40
In reply to Another long'n cause it's more fun than journaling, posted by FindingMyDesire on June 4, 2009, at 1:05:06
It sounds like you are in a really wonderful place right now, understanding so much of what is going on IRL and in therapy. Go with it!
You've opened up with your T so much and now seem willing to let her see the dark side of you, and lo and behold, she doesn't think you're disgusting, unworthy or all those other things we beat ourselves up about. You are going through transference and it sounds like you've turned an important corner. It's not easy, I know, but it's freeing to be able to turn yourself over to another person so completely.
I'm not minimizing your pain at all, I'm just telling you to keep at it. During transference, we all want to be that special one to our Ts; that's entirely natural, and if truth be told, we're all special to our Ts. It's just not always "how" we want to be special and that's so much a part of the process.
I like the idea that you're just going to go in and freely be yourself and let her guide you. Sometimes that's when the best things happen, the insights come that we never expected.
It's great you're writing here and feel safe to do so. So many people here are going through the same thing and you are never alone.
Congratulations on your efforts and recognizing the patterns that have guided your life for so long. You should be really proud of yourself.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:898897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090515/msgs/899351.html