Posted by Dinah on May 9, 2009, at 7:47:40
In reply to Bullying and subsequent psychosis, posted by SLS on May 9, 2009, at 6:03:56
I was bullied for more than three years beginning age 11. My therapist traces a lot of what is a problem for me now as going back to that time.
My psychiatrist at the time put in my charts that my tests showed me to be borderline psychotic and "must be attended to straightaway." For myself, I think he was incorrect. Sometimes when one exhibits signs of paranoia, it is because one is being persecuted. Particularly in middle school.
However, the large doses of antipsychotic I received for a year at that time did work fairly well for my out of control anxiety and incipient agoraphobia. So that part of it may have worked out ok.
I thought for a while back of going back to school and getting a degree in education concentrating on curriculum planning. And making it my life's work to see that schools adopted meaningful antibullying policies, so that no one else would have to live through the h*ll that was middle school for me.
Although I must admit that there was family upheaval at the time that may have made my reaction more extreme. Still, I was never good at dealing with bullying. Teachers said to not let it bother me. That wasn't in my ability. Teachers said to give as good as I got. I couldn't. My mother raised me in a way that not only would not allow me to behave that way myself, but didn't even allow me to fully comprehend how this was happening to me, or why the adults allowed it. When I was in my first year of school, my mother taught in the same grade, but not my class. I had a classmate who was voluntarily mute, wore the same dress every day, and didn't act like the other kids. The other kids weren't kind to her and neither was my teacher. I remember looking at my teacher, who I generally liked, with red fury one day when she held up this girl's paper and mocked it publicly. I befriended her, protected her as best I could, but I was just a kid myself. The girl was held back and my mother got her the next year. My mother did not tolerate bullying from others and would never have mocked a child. By the end of the year, the little girl was verbally participating in public performances, the other children were perfectly nice to her, and I was so d*mn proud of my mother. I knew what was going on with me didn't need to be going on with me, had the teachers been serious about not allowing bullying.
poster:Dinah
thread:894853
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/894866.html