Posted by Dinah on May 2, 2009, at 9:27:47
In reply to Am I My Mother????, posted by Phillipa on May 1, 2009, at 12:37:09
No. You are not your mother. You were her child, and there is nothing you could have done to make her ill. My mother became diabetic during her pregnancy with me, but that was just a fact that came out in discussions. She never thought I was the cause of it, and I certainly don't see myself as the cause of it.
But it never hurts to think about our assumptions and beliefs. Do you think it was likely that your husband caused your thyroid problem? Does your doctor? (Something probably best asked if he isn't around.) Do you mention your beliefs to him? If you do, do you think it is a helpful thing in your marriage.
You aren't your mother. But in your formative years you heard over and over that illnesses were the responsibility of someone. It would be natural enough for your brain to go down that path, because that's the path your mother prepared for you. It takes work to figure out where those ruts in our brain paths may be, and to forge new paths for ourselves.
I'm not saying this is true in your case. But it certainly can't hurt to assess and challenge your beliefs from time to time. Or to review your behavioral choices and see if they are ultimately in your best interests. Of course that also requires a thorough review of your goals, and what is in your best interests.
poster:Dinah
thread:893738
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/893869.html