Posted by workinprogress on April 18, 2009, at 1:02:33
I just want to share how much it's been worth the risk to open up and get close to my T. It's been totally scary. I've obsessed. I've wondered if my feelings are ok. I've stressed over our relationship, I've worried she doesn't care. But, all the while, she's kept saying it's ok, that it's good to get close, and that she's their in whatever way I need her to be.
I have been seriously attached. I have tormented myself over calls and emails. I call/email and then wait... and worry about a response, until I get one, or don't. Now though, I still email and call just as much, if not more (in fact we finally worked out that I'd just call every day and report in on what's up- I was always worried she'd forget about me and decided if I called every day she couldn't). Now, more than 6 months later, sometimes I forget to call.
Anyway, it's been almost 2 years since we first started seeing each other. And today, as we were hugging goodbye, she said (referring to something I'd shared with her) "I'm in the loop, I'm never in the loop. Thank you for that." She said that you for everything you've brought to me, we really do have a special relationship (of course we've talked about it endlessly from my perspective)- "you don't get to see it from my side... but it really is special." I said "really?" and she said "yes, it's very very rare that people let me in the way you have and what we have is very special."
Anyway, I feel on cloud nine today. I wrote her an email to say thanks and admitted (I mean seriously, let's be real) I've been trying to be "special" for two years... finally!!! ;)
But really, I know it's different, but it still means so much to have her acknowledge that not all of her clients push so hard, try so much, and push through that fear to find their way into her heart in quite the same way. I was lovely. And I nuzzled my head into her shoulder and held her tight... and I felt safe...
poster:workinprogress
thread:891355
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/891355.html