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Termination: Shaking like a leaf...

Posted by antigua3 on April 6, 2009, at 14:48:34

I really am all worked up about this.

I'm going to TRY to start the process of terminating with my pdoc tomorrow. I've given it a lot of thought and it just isn't going to work out. We're simply not a good match. My plan is to extricate myself as quickly as I can, to try to tie up the obvious loose ends without going any deeper with him or into any new territory.

Here's the kicker. I discussed this all w/my T last week and she agreed. But at the end of the session, she informed me that she would be out of commission for a few weeks! She thought she had told me, but she didn't; I would have remembered that and I wouldn't have seriously contemplated doing this.

But this is how I operate usually: On my own. I make these grand decisions and make myself suffer because I choose to do these things without adequate support. What a dope I am.

I've thought of holding on until my T is recovered and really back, but I can't stand it anymore with my pdoc. It's just too painful. I really want tomorrow to just be a light "impersonal" session. They never are, but if I can rise above all the grief I've experienced with him, maybe I'll be fine. I don't think I'll bring the termination up for discussion, though. He would just say that I'm running, anyway, and maybe I am, but sometimes it's the right thing to do.

antigua

 

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poster:antigua3 thread:889007
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/889007.html