Posted by antigua3 on April 6, 2009, at 14:30:55
In reply to i'm all closed up, posted by B2chica on April 6, 2009, at 12:47:48
I've been wondering how you've been, and I'm sorry to hear things are not going well.
The second trimester, IMO, is the best time physically, so I'm sorry you can't get the time you need to discuss the issues that are coming up. You need to tell her about those flashbacks, etc. because they are being triggered for a reason. But then you have to trust her. Maybe make a list and stick with it? Can you contact her between sessions? The stress on you and the baby is not good, and if you're going without meds, it must be that much more difficult.
I do that, too--not bring things up because there doesn't seem to be enough time to talk about them and one of the things I really hate is to be left hanging, in a crisis, between appointments, which sometimes seem like they are years apart. Consequently, I rarely discuss what's even going on in my current life because I'm so busy trying to figure out what's going on in my head! That always seems so much more important to me in the long run. I know, I know, if we tell them what's going on today, they can help us understand why we react the way we do, etc., but I just don't go for that.
Maybe it's not that you just have to accept that your husband responds the way he does. Maybe you just have to decide that you're not going to respond the same way to him. I learned that when I refused to argue, things changed a lot. It put the problem back on him, instead of me trying to fix it for him. But that could just be me, so pls ignore if it's stupid.
I don't think I was put on this earth to have it easy, either. I used to think that I was lucky (ha!) in some sick way that my problems happened early in my life, and my present day life is pretty lucky (ha again!), but if I keep living in my head, I'll never get anywhere. So, during my child bearing years, I just focused on loving my kids; it's all I could do and I am very glad now that I did that. You have a wonderful daughter, but I know it's hard to give her the attention when you feel badly yourself.
Sorry I'm not much help, but we're good listeners here if you want to write about some of the stuff that is bothering you.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:888982
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/889005.html