Posted by B2chica on February 25, 2009, at 10:08:50
In reply to Re: needing more... » B2chica, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 25, 2009, at 8:41:45
no i didn't think you didn't.
i just didnt express myself before.i cant get in to see her cuz shes sick.
and we wont have the money next month when the bill will come.
it just wont work out.ive considered calling my pdoc and finding out my 'options', but ive been reading a bit and options dont look good.
haldol seems about the only option, but i wont be able to breastfeed, and since i've never been on it before i dont know how i'll react, PLUS i might have bad reaction coming off it.back to square one.
if i have to i'll just take more time off work (lying about the reason) and spend the day with my daughter.
because i notice when i'm with her i'm SO busy caring for her my mind doesn't go to wanting to 'act'.*last night was tough for me and around 7:00 we went downstairs and turned on tv, i felt so sad, so bad all i could do was curl up in the recliner and stare. my DD kept insisting to curl up with me.
this 1)feels good because it reminds me of just why i'm fighting. 2)feels bad because i know she senses something is up with 'mama'. :(i'm just lost, with no real direction to turn right now.
but like my entire life, i'll keep fighting as long as i can.
i can only hope that after delivery i'll be better. for now i'm taking trimester at a time...week at a time.
poster:B2chica
thread:882138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/882373.html