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Re: RK, just wondering about you

Posted by rskontos on February 18, 2009, at 16:37:51

In reply to Re: RK, just wondering about you » rskontos, posted by HappyChaiTea on February 18, 2009, at 8:19:01

Hi HappyCT,

Yeah so far so good. She has actually been almost pleasant. But today for me, not so good. I had a hard time actually being there again. And I took the xanax. For two days now I have taken it.

But it is not helping the dissociation. And the derealization. The feeling of not being there but being there. That makes zero sense.
Sometimes the room will just suddenly come back in clarity. Or I feel like I am seeing things from a tunnel. Sigh. I just don't get it.

The going deeper part is actually telling my t stuff I don't even think about to myself. Because I think, just a theory really, is that if I open up to him with that stuff that makes me even dissociate when I am alone and thinking about it, then telling him will make things messier perhaps. It is this whole trust him but trust myself to tell stuff I am scared to talk about. I just don't know where it will lead. This is what I told him the last two sessions.

The book I got is specifically on DID and how to get more from therapy and it is not only for therapists to read but actually for DID people along with their families. To help each understand what is going on and not to be afraid to trust and get help.

It seems like a good one when I perused it. But it needs to taken slowly since it is a little triggering too.

And my classes start I think in June. I went looking on the website of the university and got sidetracked by my transcripts. I am still awaiting information on how they will credit my 1st degree toward credits for the second one.

There seems to be a problem but the admissions director for the School of Science said she would take care of it and I would receive a packet.

Thanks for asking. I am withdrawing from topamax and feel like crap right now. take care,

give the pup a hug from me :)

rsk

PS thanks for saying I am special. A person can't hear that enough!

 

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