Posted by muffled on February 15, 2009, at 22:41:29
In reply to Re: Therapy last night ******CSA Trigger*********, posted by muffled on February 13, 2009, at 23:37:03
Ya, I know my words get confusing, I knew that but I trying so hard to get right words cuz I care so much to have good words for you. Sometimes I can find real nice words and sometimes they all scrambly. I ok w/that, I know you know I am trying :-)
Like I say I dunno what is the case for you, but I read Daisys post and what she said bout impending loss of your T cuasing lils to get pannicked and stuff is exactly what I been thinking. Thats kinda why I was hoping you can, when you more ready, start to slowly transition to new T. It were real hard to lose my old T, and I still email from time to time. And it were raw for awhile, and I still not real attach to new T, but I reckon a good attach takes time.
Anyhow. I worry some that you might be like me, and never GET to find out why there is such upset within. But what I am trying to do/understand, is to let the feelings that I so scared of be understood. But they WAY scarey cuz I dunno where they comming from and they way wrong and stuff. But I gonna keep working away slow at this stuff.
Sounds like you have heard some hopeful stuff here on this thread. Thats so cool.
And I concur bout depression messing w/your head. I can't really remember how my thots were when I was so depressed, just a blur, but they was messed for sure. But I came back. You can come back too. Oh man, and when you do....the world is an utterly different place. Sometimes I think my depression was like a near death thing...oh...well in a way I guess it WAS, but anyhow, I got a diff perspective on things after I finally come out of it. Like stuff is more precious that I didin't value enuf B4, and stuff that used to matter and shouldn't have...didn't matter anymore. Like I don't care what others think so much. Small things can make me so happy sometimes. I just live each day and try to appreciate it. LOL, which isn't to say I have acj=hieved nirvana! I think I am perpetually summat depressed, but after the big dep, this is not so bad.
I'm rambling....
Litsa people here understand. And we DO care, though its tough on an internet board to really show deep compassion.
But as much as this board can convey, I DO care and truly hope you can feel better some.
And I have been praying for you to my God as well.
Take care,
I think you got lots to offer.
(((TG)))
M
poster:muffled
thread:879490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/880396.html