Posted by raisinb on February 5, 2009, at 21:11:28
In reply to today I saw the covering therapist, posted by raisinb on February 5, 2009, at 13:21:39
When I was talking about how much I missed her, he said that was a huge and important shift that I allowed myself to feel it and express it. He seemed to think that was big progress. (I'm thinking, this pain is progress? Great.) He said, "last time, it was like it didn't even register" that she was gone. I explained to him that it did, it was just that I'd been ashamed of feeling how I did. I guess I was better at faking than I thought I was.
He asked me how I wanted to use the time with him. I said I had just called him in panic, and hadn't given it serious thought. Then I said, maybe it's an opportunity (can't remember my exact words) but kind of a way to talk about my therapy, what kind of progress I'd made, etc. He didn't seem to want to do that. He said he wanted to "honor" the connection I had with my therapist, and that he felt that keeping that "boundary" (I think, i.e., not evaluating whether I should stay with her, or that relationship) was good.
He said what I was feeling was normal. I said I knew that. But it sure doesn't help. He isn't the warm fuzzy type. And I'm not sure any therapist could duplicate the strange chemistry I have with mine.
I was pretty surprised at how well he remembered me after all this time, and how few sessions we'd had before. I know, too, that he didn't get a chance to talk to my therapist about me, so I was definitely appreciative of that.
Anyway, it's interesting to get this different perspective. And it all sucks. But I'm trying to take the positives from it.
Here's something funny--when I walked in, I saw he had Barbies on one of his shelves. I was nervous and he just sat there in silence, so I decided to instruct him that he shouldn't give those Barbies to kids, because they screwed up little girls' body images. I'm sure he appreciated that! :)
poster:raisinb
thread:878238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/878341.html