Posted by obsidian on February 4, 2009, at 23:58:59
In reply to depression and intelligence, posted by raisinb on February 4, 2009, at 16:02:47
I don't know...I don't feel smart, I mostly feel confused. Some people seem to think I am smart, and others reactions to me in school seemed to communicate that I somehow was one of the smarter ones. Who's to say?
I know that I figured a lot of stuff out on my own, essential kinds of things that maybe other people just knew. I think that my experiences put me at a major disadvantage, but my intelligence helped me make it through.
At some point, I remember figuring out that how I acted toward people would determine to a large degree how they reacted to me. I was angry and despairing and desperate and lost, but there it was....my burden to bear.
I imagined a person in my head for years that I talked to silently in my head. Essentially, I did not have thoughts, I had conversations in my head with a fantasy person. It was always a back and forth, in my head..i.e. this situation vs. that situation, this possibility vs. that possibility..ad finitum. It was like an imaginary therapist, someone who could listen to me, who I could check things out with.I'm not sure how to really explain this, but it helped me through. I have struggled with anxiety and depression/moodiness (whatever you want to call it) to a degree that has seriously affected my functioning, but I think I made it through a lot of it, by virtue of my "brain power" for lack of a better phrase.
oh, and sensitive over-analyzer...you betcha.
poster:obsidian
thread:878008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/878131.html