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Re: I am doing awful. Any suggestions?

Posted by antigua3 on January 30, 2009, at 22:08:10

In reply to I am doing awful. Any suggestions?, posted by raisinb on January 30, 2009, at 13:47:09

My story is similar to others here and I made it through and so can you.

I got a call one evening from a friend or associate, not sure which, of my T's to tell me she wasn't going to be seeing patients for several months and that my T would call me when she was ready to come back.

I was frantic, mostly because the person wouldn't tell me what was going on and I was afraid my T was deathly ill or something terrible had happened to her family.

Two days later I read in the paper that her husband had died very unexpectedly. It was horrible, but at least I knew what was wrong.

I felt that it was my duty to be a "good" client and leave her alone, but I ached not knowing when she would be back.

It was several months before I saw her again. I didn't see anyone in the meantime (it wasn't suggested to me and I didn't even think of it).

But when I saw her again, I realized how right she had been to take the time she needed. She came back when she was ready to be fully engaged and after some adjustments and discussions over what her absence had meant to me, we were back up to speed pretty quickly.

It's hard in one way for you because this is a joyous occasion for her, while I spent my off time worrying about how she was. I guess it gave me something to focus on, as silly as that may be. A new baby can make one feel jealous, which can bring out all sorts of feelings that you'd like to discuss w/your own t. You can't right now, so try to use the T who is covering for her to help you through this time.

Good luck, and just try to hold onto the good things about your T during this time.
antigua

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/877277.html