Posted by Little Soul on January 5, 2009, at 22:20:11
There is so much going on on the board right now I hesitate to post another entry. I want to respond to posts, yet don't have the wherewithall right now. Please forgive me, I know I'll be in a better place, hopefully soon. But right now, I am trying to wrap my mind around what happened to me this weekend.
A little background...I have three emergency numbers (friends) who said I could call if I couldn't get ahold of t. I don't know if it was a full moon this weekend, but all three told me in so many words that they need to be taken off the list. Friend #1 said that my emotions during a melt down were too much responsibility for her and she wanted me to go to an Al-Anon (drinking not a problem for me or family) meeting. She said there are all kinds of people there dealing with all kinds of problems and that I could get a sponsor to talk to - yeesh.
Okay, next friend said that she was unsure she was helping me and that she needed to set more boundaries especially when it came to calling her late at night. She origininally gave me permission to call at "any time of night". Later in the conversation, I told I'd take her up on her offer of a weekend visit since the airfares are really cheap now. To that, she said that her son (5 years old) is very sensitive to negativity and depression and she didn't want him around me if I was down. I said I'd postpone since I could not predict how I'd be feeling.
Lastly, friend #3 flat out said she has done all she could and asked to be taken off the list.
My friends have been on my emergency list for about two years. I only call when it's really an emergency and my husband is traveling for business. As far as my daughter goes, I work really hard to keep the boundaries of our mother/daughter relationship appropriate. She is 30 and a clinical social worker, so it's tempting to "tell all" since she's very good and invites me to talk. But I feel strongly about maintaining those relationship boundaries.
So I'm wondering what am I doing wrong? Why now? Is it me? It must be, for three people to say no more. Geeze, I'm feeling hurt and confused and frustrated because these are very good friends. What could I have done to see this coming? Did I not read their signals right? I'm working really hard in therapy and am making progress, but should I be all better in 2 years? Maybe I should be...I donno.
Thanks for letting me rant on here.
So...I'm wondering, who you call in the dark wee hours of the night?
Little Soul
poster:Little Soul
thread:872448
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872448.html