Posted by Nadezda on January 3, 2009, at 12:01:01
I'm in one.
I don't even know why, other than having nothing to do for three weeks, and hanging out on Second Life and getting knots in my stomach from some of it.
And having the little work I did not go well.
And just feeling like I hate myself, for no reason-- no reason outside the usual, that is.
And we have this party this afternoon from 4-7, which I'm dreading, but I'm trying to bite my tongue so I don't upset my bf, who gets upset if I get really rattled and against things. Which I do at times. I'm pretty awful when I do. I really don't blame him, I couldn't put up with myself. But I really really don't want to do this, esp. in the afternoon. I hate afternoon parties. I have no idea why we're having one, except he forgot to ask me when I thought we should do it. Although he says he told me, but I/m pretty much 100% sure he never mentioned the time, and I thought we were going to have it in the evening.
Why do I have to be so utterly wretched over minor things, even if they pile up for a time? Why do transitory emptinesses unhinge me so much. Three weeks isn't my whole life; and I could have done better things, if I hadn't been unhinged from myself all along.
Sorry. I guess this is a rant.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:872089
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872089.html