Posted by Little Soul on January 3, 2009, at 2:27:09
Okay, so I wanted to really respond to your post DAisym and to yours Dinah. But I'm in a real bad way right now and need someone to talk with me - I can't sleep or stop crying.
I had therapy today and my T kinda sprang it on me that she is going away for a long weekend. She is going to Cananda and her cell doesn't work there so she can't receive any calls and of course she is going with her boyfriend and probably doesn't want to be bothered anyway (which is a reasonable request in most circumstances).
Usually she has a chance to give me some notice about her trips and I have a chance to work it through with her, you know like make plans for myself duting her absence, and who else to call during this time. Also she is very good about reassuring me that she will return (a lot of my therapy recently is dealing with abandonment issues).
Anyway, she said I could call tonight if I needed to talk to her about anything. So I called her early in the evening and we spoke briefly. That was okay but I was still pretty upset. She said I could call back latter on if I still needed to talk more. So I did and it sounded like her phone was turned off. I tried a couple of other times after that getting more and more anxious because I couldn't get a hold of her. I ended up having a full blown panic attack. I'm feeling very upset and started putting myself down, saying "why would she want to talk to me anyway, I'm such a needy client", and other abusive things to myself. I called my three emergency numbers and I got three voicemails. I could really use some help, anyone? - I don't know what even to ask for - I just know I'm huring and don't know where to turn. Sorry for the downer post. I know I'm a newbie and probabhly should be doing more giving than taking but I'm really struggling. Any thoughts, kind words, or perspectives on hopefulness?
LS
poster:Little Soul
thread:872051
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872051.html