Posted by DAisym on December 19, 2008, at 2:20:50
In reply to Re: Anyone ever send your t a 'secret santa' gift???, posted by movingforward on December 18, 2008, at 21:28:53
I always give my therapist the gift directly as well. I agree with Annie - it seems important to talk about why you sent the gift secretly, knowing how he feels about gifts. What is your anxiety about? Is it "breaking the rules?" or being found out?
What if he doesn't acknowledge it at all and you don't see it? How will that feel?
Gifts are an interesting issue for therapists. I think I like what Yalom says about allowing clients to show how they feel and what it does for the relationship when a therapist accepts a gift gracefully. I'm not talking anything extravagant but something symbolic, given from the heart, is not, IMO, a breach of ethics. I seriously doubt that I can buy my therapist's love and/or attention with a potted plant. From a developmental view point, the ability to give a gift that is accepted has deep meaning for the giver - usually a symbolic representation of what we give of ourselves during therapy and our ability to think of another. Think about the pride of a young child, who selects something on his own for his mom or dad - and what it would mean to have it rejected.
I get the other side too. But I think this is not a one-size-fits-all issue.
poster:DAisym
thread:869514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/869579.html