Posted by raisinb on December 13, 2008, at 12:45:54
In reply to Bothersome incident with therapist, posted by luckygal on December 13, 2008, at 11:57:28
I know people have different levels of tolerance, but that is ludicrous. First of all, according to what I have read, most therapists agree that appointments should start and end on time. That is part of the safe therapeutic "frame," and while it might seem like a minor issue, solid boundaries are critical for the unconscious to feel safe to come out of its shell (if that's not too many mixed metaphors).
Second of all, implying that HER lateness is YOUR issue to be worked on is...well...boy...I am not sure I can think of a word bad enough for therapists who have issues of their own and attempt to push them off on the client.
My therapist, like seldom's, is never late and when she is a few minutes late, she apologizes and we talk about it. For clients who might have abandonment issues or low self-esteem (like most of us!) it is a big deal. While many doctors *do* run late habitually, a therapist is *not* another doctor, which is why small things like lateness, office space changes, or missed appointments take on big, symbolic importance.
I hope you can find somebody else. The silver lining (maybe) here is that you saw the red flags very early, before you got attached.
poster:raisinb
thread:868473
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/868499.html