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Re: the what ifs » lucie lu

Posted by Angela2 on December 4, 2008, at 17:48:05

In reply to Re: the what ifs » Angela2, posted by lucie lu on December 4, 2008, at 15:43:24

>
> Hi Angela,
>
> I'm glad your symptoms are "just" anxiety (not that it makes them any less comfortable).


------Thanks. I still don't know what it was, and I talked to my pdoc and she said that if it comes back to make an appointment with my primary care dr.----------

>
> You know, and this is just MHO, but I remember in some of your other posts, you saying something about volunteer or other activities, but that they are "boring" so you didn't want to follow through with them. While they may in fact be boring, consider where you are - still perched on the side of the pool. You badly want to swim but you don't like the thought of getting wet! Something has to give here. What is your biggest concern in your life, boredom or loneliness, lack of social life and contacts?


-----I don't know. I feel like today has been this kind of haze and I don't really know what I want. But I think I might want to be busy and making social contacts. I don't want to do something that is boring. But I might have to right now. Just for now. My supervisor there is really nice. I just wish I could do other things. I don't know how to tell her. But I also think, you are right in the fact that In some ways I am still on the side of the pool. I have a chance to volunteer somewhere else and doing something I find interesting, but I'm nervous about it. And I don't want to back out.-----


If it is boredom, then by all means avoid boring activities but then be prepared to put in some other new and exciting activities yourself. But if its the social contacts, go to those activities for that reason alone, practice your social skills if nothing else. With any luck, you may eventually find something or someone interesting or exciting from these activities that initially looked boring.

----I feel like I'm in a weird place right now. Like, I can kind of do anything I want. Nothing is really stopping me from just hanging out on the couch, watching tv, etc. I think I just hit the nail on the head. oh my. My parents don't tell me to get out and get a job etc. But this is not what I want for myself. I want to have something to do everyday. I look forward to the days I am busy.---------

>
> You know what though, Angela, a good portion of the days of all of our lives can truthfully be described to be "boring." We do them anyway because they need to be done, they are work towards particular goals. You need to decide your goal, decide upon steps that will help you reach this goal, and then close your eyes, hold your nose, and jump in with a splash. Just do it. Boring or not. Let your next big issue be over-activity rather than under! Then you know you are starting to address the avoidance pattern.
>
> Best of luck,
>
> Lucie

-----Lucie, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really really appreciate it. I love this last part especially. Yeah, I DO have to figure out what I want. I have SOME goals, and I know there are certain things I want, 2 things the be exact, but I don't think I'm being specific enough, because I am still unhappy in some of my life.

Today was kind of an off day because I reacted so strongly to my chest hurting. But I want to be able to get past those type of things. Like, what if that happened and I had a job? well tomorrow is another day, got a bunch to think about, thanks------

 

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