Posted by workinprogress on December 3, 2008, at 0:58:50
In reply to Relationship with your T in your head?, posted by FindingMyDesire on December 3, 2008, at 0:35:11
Good questions FMD!
Unnumbered question: Um... yeah, ALL the time!
1. Hmm.. How is it different? Well, it's less of a "conversation" so much as either, if I'm lucky, internalization... or, speculation on what she would say I suppose. For instance, the other day I was talking with a therapist in training re: my daily calls to my T. I was explaining to him how they helped settle me and helped make real "out of sight isn't out of mind", bc I couldn't believe it before. Once I started calling her every day with my little reports, I knew she couldn't forget me... and I felt more secure. He said "I bet she'll be glad when you don't have to call anymore". I said, no, I think she'll be fine if I do it from now until the day I die... and it won't mean anything to her, it won't mean I haven't grown, it'll just be what I need. And later, I thought in my head, is that right? yeah, that's what she'd say, she'd say she's ok with me however I am and whatever I need. It doesn't matter to her, she doesn't see it that way, it's not black and white. It's the process, acceptance. And I left that message on her vm. And she emailed me back and said... You're right, I agree with YOU, not him.
2. Lots. Or more thinking... what would she say?
3. Nope... she'd win too much!
4. Hmm.. Love. Transference. Most importantly, internalization I think.
I want her to be my mom... so, I think the relationship is a little too immature yet (mom/kid) to illicit sexual fantasies.
All that said... FMD, you are oh so normal in your strong feelings. And oh so normal in feeling oh so uncomfortable about that. I feel like at least 50% of this board is about that tension. It's why I found it in the first place....
WIP
> Here's a question. I'm sure it's been asked before... but after such a great therapy session tonight I am feeling a little playful I guess.
>
> How many of you carry on what feels like a whole relationship (of any kind) with your T in your head?
>
> 1. If you do, how does it differ (if it does) to the real relationship you have in your sessions together?
>
> 2. How much time do you spend talking to your T in your head (if you do such a thing as I seem to do much of the day)?
>
> 3. Do you ever argue with the T in your head?
>
> 4. And, lastly, if you have insights about what this head-relationship is all about I would love to hear them.
>
> (Bonus Question)
> Oh, and if you ever have sexual fantasies about your T please feel free to share that (not them, just the fact that you have them) so that I don't feel so alone...
>
>
> Finding My Desire
poster:workinprogress
thread:866385
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866393.html