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Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert

Posted by Partlycloudy on December 2, 2008, at 17:19:21

She saw me early and I kept talking til past my hour was up. (((((generous T)))))

I'm kind of out of people to talk to - my DH is presently out of town and we left it on such a sour note, which I did more than my share to contribute to, even if it WAS the depression talking, it gave him such an earful :-(

My mother has been silent.

My sister has been silent; I know that I stirred up a real hornet's nest for her and we both need for our respective Stuff to settle somewhat. Plus we haven't ever had an easy time of speaking frankly with each other, it always comes out explosively and with a lot of pain.

My local friend has her own weighty issues going on at the moment, and though has offered to be there if I've needed her, did one of those TMI (Too Much Information!) overshares of intimate information to me recently, and frankly, I don't feel very safe talking to her - I think she knows it, too.

So let's see - husband, mother, sister, friend... nope, nope, nope, and another nope. I've got a lot of not very safe feeling places where I don't feel I can share how badly I'm doing at any given time.

Contrarily, I don't always feel up to answering the phone when it rings. Definitely that "meh" thing (aren't you glad that word made it into the dictionary this year?). I feel like it's my word.

The work-around is that my T has asked that I call her every day to check in with her. If I need a call back, I will ask her for one, or if she thinks I'm not sounding right, she'll call me.

I scheduled our next appointment with the anticipation that my husband will come with me. He doesn't know it yet, since he's working really hard at his out of town meeting right now. But if not the next session, then the one after that - I'm determined to get him in there for at least one session.

That's where I'm at tonight. It's been a tough day.

I did, though, have a really lovely phone call from another babbler earlier on today, which was so nice. Thank you, you who will not be named!

pc

 

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poster:Partlycloudy thread:866301
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