Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 1, 2008, at 19:04:57
I having a even a rougher time with things, over the weekend there was this burglar who broke in to our neighbors house, used my wooden edging to break in their windows. So even though it wasn't my house they broke into, they were in my yard next to my house. This has triggered back memories of the times when we had our house broken into. One time was the day after Xmas,and I was home alone with my kids. I suffered PTSD then, even though I didn't know it was called that. All this today while I am fighting a migraine too.
Then also today I watched my kids compete in this triathlon, and it just freaked me out to see my kids in the deep end of the pool. I don't know how to swim because I have an intense fear of deep water. When I was 2 or 3 my mom threw me in the lake, thinking I would learn to swim like she was taught. Well I didn't and went under 2 times before my dad rescued me. I know i took in water and almost died, they got me breathing again somehow. I never knew about this until my early teens and overhearing them one night when they thought I was asleep. Plus the same night I found out I was only conceived to prevent my dad from going to Nam.
Well I emailed my T about all of this, and she emailed me right back. She was just so gentle telling me to use some of the techniques she taught me to calm myself and to remember I am an adult. She also said I am having normal reactions to abnormal events. But she also thinks my PTSD is bubbling up.
I remember one time with my old man T, I called him when I was upset over some nightmares I was having, I just wanted some reassurance that I was okay. Well he thought I was having a panic attach and he purposely didn't call me back till the next day to prove I can handle it myself. He maybe be a long time veteran expert in panic attacks but to me he let me down when I needed him.
But with my lady T, she is okay with email contact to help some of us get through the week. It is like she understands the need for contact when things are difficult. I have my session tomorrow and she said it sounds like it will be a hard working session. We are doing hard work, it scares me, but I feel like I can count on my T. That feels good to feel.
poster:SlugSlimersSoSlided
thread:866150
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866150.html