Posted by seldomseen on November 30, 2008, at 7:09:49
In reply to Family -- and Defending Boundaries, posted by Racer on November 29, 2008, at 11:26:12
One of the things I have been successful at is realizing that every single member of my family is absolutely stark raving mad.
I gave up on the notion of ever having the "perfect" holiday gathering and just accepted that it was going to be dysfunction, guilt trips, suicide threats and just general mayhem.
Once I accepted that, I was pretty much able to take myself out of the situation (mentally) and (shock) embrace the madness.
For instance, this past thanksgiving was pretty tame.
Nonetheless, my grandmother refused to sit at the table with us because she felt that none of us really loved her.
My father decided thanksgiving morning that he needed to dig out the septic tank (was it overflowing - no) and dug straight through dinner.
My mother, even though all the food was cooked for her or catered, still indicated that if she had to do this again, she was going to leave for good.
Of course, there was the discussion at the table as to whether or not I was a lesbian because I was single and wanted to take food to one of my female friends that had to work.It's like watching a troop of chimps really. Although that is perhaps insulting to the chimps.
That's not to say that all holidays are as benign as this one. Some are just outright violent and predatory.
Those, I just get in my car and leave. After all, I am choosing to be there. It's always my option as to whether to stay.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:865729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865865.html