Posted by JayMac on November 29, 2008, at 13:48:38
This has been something on my mind lately. Who can I change and what can I change?
My mom is schizophrenic. She lives mintues from her mom (my grandmother of course). Well, I have trouble because my mom is many hours away from me. I want to help my mom, but I'm not sure how. I know I could call her more often, but I can't really have a conversation. She starts going into her delusions and I don't know what to say at that point. If I tell her about my life, she forgets. She has no short term memory. When I'm on the phone with her, I just tell her that I love her and miss her and will try to see her soon. I saw her this Thanksgiving. It was difficult. She really does have a mental illness. It's obvious. She really is handicapped. It's real. My mom is really disabled.
Well, I've been speaking with my T about how I can help her. I know my mom would great benefit from therapy. She is on lots of medication, but I know she needs more. She gets shots of it every couple weeks because she won't take it otherwise.
My T recommended that I try to figure out if that is possible to get her more help in either a group home/setting or individual therapy. I researched Ts in the area, and they all specialize and work with higher functioning individuals. My mom lives in a remote area so there are limited options.
I'm not sure what to do. My grandma gave a list of excuses why she cannot drive my mom to group therapy. She says that she doesn't have time, or this, or that. I'm frustrated. I feel helpless. I feel hopeless. We briefly spoke about it this Thursday, but she doesn't understand how beneficial it would be for my mom. I know my grandma doesn't make a ton of money, but group therapy can be free, many times.
My T and I have been working on my coming to accept my mom, accept that I cannot change her, but I can give her my love, I can call her, and I can visit her. It's so hard. I know I cannot really CHANGE her. I just want her to be better. I want her to someday get married again and be happy. I know she's not happy. She acts like she is, but she doesn't know what happiness is anymore. It makes me sad. I've cried many, many times over this.
I just needed to vent. I don't see my T until Thursday.
Thanks for readng!
poster:JayMac
thread:865754
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865754.html