Posted by Wittgensteinz on November 18, 2008, at 18:21:41
In reply to Re: The vividly imagined experience, posted by Dinah on November 18, 2008, at 13:12:00
Maybe what is particular to you, and perhaps pathology related, is the habit of running through the scenario in such detail that the distinction between doing X in reality and anticipating doing X becomes blurred. I often have to rehearse carefully my phone calls. There have even been occasions I have gone as far as writing down what I need to say (that's because I often have to speak in another language and I hate making mistakes) - that said, I've never had this problem of thinking I've actually made the phone call and later realising I haven't.
What I have experienced however is the mixing of reality with vivid dreams/day dreaming - this tends to happen when my mental health is worse - when under a lot of stress. My (day)dreams will be so fast moving and vivid, and then all the imanges and happenings of the day/last days will blur together and discerning what is real and what is not can be difficult without checking. For example, whether I saw something on the news or whether I just dreamt it. If it's happening a lot in a short period of time, it can be quite unsettling.
When I was a student at university, there was a cleaner who would come and clean my room once a week (just in case people think I am a complete slob, it was a standard service that came with the room - I didn't hire a cleaner as such). It was nearly Christmas and I bought her some chocolates as a thank you present. I had them in my cupboard. Anyway, being a student I was often still asleep when she came round in the mornings to empty the bins. She would knock on the door to ask to empty the bin. I was certain that morning I'd woken up and given her the chocolates - it was so vivid - she'd knocked on my door to empty the bin, I got up and got them out of the cupboard and she was standing by the door. Anyway, that evening I was just getting something from the cupboard and there were the chocolates still there - I was baffled - afterall the bin had been emptied so I had gotten up. Then I had the faintest memory that I did indeed give her the chocolates but that she refused them and pushed them back into my hand. To this day I still don't know if any of that really happened. In the end I just left the chocolates behind in my room with a note. That Christmas she passed away, so I didn't see her again.
Sorry for the cheerful story!! Not sure if any of this helps answer your question.
I would guess your T suspects these lapses in memory (if that's what they are?) have something to do with a condition he perceives/suspects you as having. Can this be a part of OCD?
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:863797
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/863851.html