Posted by LadyBug on November 17, 2008, at 18:18:16
In reply to Ladybug, I'm thinking of you too, posted by Dinah on November 17, 2008, at 17:11:05
Yes, Dinah, I've actually seen my T twice. Thanks for asking.
The first time was pretty scary as it had been almost 6 months between seeing her and now. I told her how much she hurt me etc. The first part was a little rocky but before the hour ended we were back to a better place. I was glad I went to see her!!!! I decided to make another appointment with her.
It was to be tomorrow night. To make a long story short, I had some health issues happening and when I made an appointment with my surgeon he wanted to do surgery right away to avoid what had happened. I had a blockage in my intestines due to a reoccurring hernia. I was in terrible pain and didn't want to chance going through it again. I ended up having surgery the next day. Last Thursday actually, the 90 min. surgery ended up taking 3 1/2 hours because it was such a mess. I had a huge hernia and the Dr. didn't want it to happen again so he did an incision, did some cutting and sewed me up good this time. It was supposed to be out patient but they ended up keeping me for a 23 hour observance because of the amount of surgery he ended up doing and because I have sleep apnea and needed oxygen too. So I spent the night getting home at 3:00 Friday afternoon. Now I'm recovering for a few weeks...........
I had called my T and told her I didn't think I could make the appointment with her tomorrow night due to the surgery I had last Thurs. She had an opening that evening so I was able to see her last Wed. night. It went really well. I will post about it when I'm feeling a bit stronger. I realized something pretty strong about what happened. I created in her this person which was the opposite of her and I hated the person that hurt me-her. She did hurt me, a great deal but I in turn, hated her, every bit of her. It's hard to explain but I think this is more of what happened. Or is it my way of protecting the perfect T that I feel she is. She did the best she could with me with what I had gone through, which was so much loss. I told her I thought she was heartless.
I'm still grieving the adoption of my grandson. I hope someday the pain will get better. Today I've cried buckets of tears for him. My daughter is grieving as well, more lately too. So between the surgery, and my sadness I'm not up to posting anything to worth while. Besides I'm not making sense. I need my brain back.
I did leave my T a voice mail after my surgery and told her how it went etc. She returned my call. I'll see her 2 more times and then she's done. I'm really glad I went back, otherwise I would have carried this hatred for her for the rest of my life and I didn't want that. I'm sure I'll miss her, but I know what it's like not to have her in my life because I did it for 6 months. It will be hard but ok.
I'm thinking about you to Dinah, I know work is more than stressful for your right now. I hope it all smooths out for you soon. Do you see that happening? Sorry for not posting much. I'm tired right now.
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:863647
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081104/msgs/863659.html