Posted by JayMac on October 18, 2008, at 12:39:33
In reply to Mental Illness in Your...., posted by JayMac on October 17, 2008, at 19:08:08
Wow, thanks for all the responses!!!
In terms of my own family, the one that kills me the most is that my mom developed schizophrenia 10 years ago. It's a late onset, which is rare. Most people develop it in their late teens, early twenties. That was (and continues to be) difficult. During the beginning stages, I was in denail that anything was wrong. I had way too much going on with myself: major depression! She would acknowledge that I was unhappy, but that was the extent of it. Given the severity of her state (she became suicidal) I had to move out and live with other family before starting high school. I was told, "Oh, maybe you can go back and ilve with your mom in a couple weeks." Then it became, "Well, maybe a month or two." After several months, I slowly began to realize that my mom was no longer present in my life. She will never be the same again. It's sad. I want to cry. With the help, support, and comfort of my T, I'm in the middle of grieving her. Thank God I have an amazing T!During that time, no one knew what was wrong. After a few months, I was given the information that she was schizophrenic. I had no idea what that label meant. I only knew that it was scary living with her and it was scary living without her. But that meant I could never live with her again. I didn't begin to understand schizophrenia until my first year of college, and even then, I intellectualized its meaning.
Anyhow, about my other family members: I have a grandmother who should really be on anti-anixety medication. My dad has many signs of a narcissistic personality as well as anxiety with hints of paranoia. My brother deals with a low grade depression here and there. I'm sure there's more, it's hard to tell because much of my family I don't see that often. Like many families, family is great at keeping secrets.
Myself: I've dealt with anxiety since I was 7 and depression since I was 11. I've also battled against an eating disorder. Currently, I have many diagnoses, but I pretty much don't care about the labels, they do not define my personality and my character. They only describe, in little detail, symptoms.
There's a whole lot of denial in my family. We didn't speak of such unplesant things. Much of my family tires very hard to make sure everythings looks normal and everyone seems okay. And they really haven't witnessed my own distress.
So....yeah......it's hard to talk about my mom. It brings back a tremendous amount of memories of what she used to be like, and all the good times we had together. Then I think about what she's like now and how medication barely relieves her pain.
It feels better to know that I am not alone.
Peace,
JayMac
poster:JayMac
thread:857980
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858100.html