Posted by seldomseen on October 18, 2008, at 8:43:32
In reply to Invitation to share stories?, posted by lucie lu on October 16, 2008, at 16:42:39
I've been in therapy 7 or 8 years, I honestly can't remember which any more. I think it is closer to 8.
The first couple of years was just chit chat really coupled with me constantly testing him to see if he would leave.
In year 3 we got down to business and I developed a strong paternal and sexual transference. It was soooo painful. So we dealt with that for about two years. It's amazing that I didn't actually quit, but I guess the chit chatting years helped me to build a lot of trust. I also gotta admit, he hung right in there with me while I basically beat my head against the therapeutic boundary.
He made some mistakes and I certainly did too, but we stuck it out. Actually, I think those mistakes ended up helping me (and us) to build trust. He's not at all afraid to say "yeah I totally screwed that up and I'm sorry". I've apologized so many times I can't even count them. I know he trusts me too.
I'm still very sensitive to perceived rejection and minimization by him, but I'm getting much better.
Now we have a kind of steady relationship I guess. Like any relationship there are bumps but we work them out. I just don't let things fester and most importantly, I trust what he says. However, there is an ebb and flow of fellings and frustrations still to this day.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:857800
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/858064.html