Posted by rskontos on October 5, 2008, at 19:40:11
Hi all,
I haven't started a thread in ages. But right now I am going to go batty. My in laws are here. We don't have the best of relationships. To add to that I just had surgery. Plus I have thyroid issues, anemia, and adrenal fatigue. My hormones are out of whack and my husband brings his almost invalid parents home to visit our new house. Well, they expect me to wait on them every meal. From the time they get up, they talk about the next meal. Ugghh.
I am still trying to recover from surgery and feel like sh*t. And if anyone knows when you have thyroid issues and adrenal fatigue, energy is not in abundance. Throw in major surgery and well, you are just about done in.
Thank God i see T tomorrow. Today I started dissociating with them( in-laws). We went to lunch and that is it. I don't remember the rest too well. I think someone else came out to give me a break. Then when I finally came to from dissociating it felt like I was coming out of a long tunnel. I try to visualize the lunch and it was just at 3:00 pm today and now it is 8:30 pm and I can't really recall much of it. But I came too with that tunnel feeling and sick at my stomach and dizzy feeling. Ugg I hate it. I have a feeling it will get worse. In part it is because I disclosed some of my childhood to them, a first for me, and they dismissed it all "no, it couldn't have been like that". So of course I felt like I was not believed. Should it matter to me no. But my brain and I are not always one. It strives to protect me and I feel loose to the world again when lately I have been feeling stronger and better connected. Now I feel weak, unable to cope, and I want to hide.
Can anyone help me feel better. I want to hide far far far far away. I am sinking fast. Oh yeah I will hide it far far deep inside, and on the outside the damage will not show. but inside I know it is there.
Thanks for letting me get this out. I still need to tell you guys what my t did for me, but this is not the time. He has amazed me, but I am waiting for the shoe to drop there too. It always does. You know, people disappoint. Man I prefer to be left alone.
I will take to t tomorrow. I wrote in my journal but still needed to vent.
rsk
sorry if not coherent, did not proofread.
poster:rskontos
thread:855913
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/855913.html