Posted by DAisym on September 29, 2008, at 23:12:29
In reply to how would you react if someone you knew..., posted by obsidian on September 29, 2008, at 22:32:37
I'd say, "it is hard to believe that so and so is always positive - no one is. And it sure seems to me that we can learn more from someone who is honest about things when they are bad, than everyone pretending things are OK when they are not." And I'll strongly disagree that you have to do something about your feelings. If I've learned anything after all these years of therapy it is that feelings are best handled by being acknowledged, understood and empathized with. No actions needed, no shaming or shoving away.
I'd also tell the person who was insisting that we always find the positive in things that sometimes there is no positive. And while that doesn't mean there are no positives at all, or ever again, it doesn't mean that we have to always search around for the silver lining. It is dismissive and demeaning to have someone tell you, "Look on the bright side..." If it were thay easy, don't you think you'd be doing it? I'd much rather have someone say, "I'm sorry you feel so bad. What can I do to help?"
Or I'd just say, "go away, you make me feel worse."
poster:DAisym
thread:854867
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854873.html