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Re: Having 2nd thoughts about him » lemonaide

Posted by Partlycloudy on September 13, 2008, at 7:14:21

In reply to Having 2nd thoughts about him » seldomseen, posted by lemonaide on September 12, 2008, at 22:44:08

> Thanks Seldom!
>
> Yeah, I think I will take a break.
>
> But one thing that is on my mind, I think he has tried so hard to look like a normal human with faults and stuff, now I don't know if he is competent to help me. I wonder if his plan has kinda backfired because sometimes when he is talking I am thinking, okay I heard this before,blah blah, blah, and I am tired of reminding him who I am. He has changed since his illnesses, and he just doesn't seem as sharp or even warm as he used to be. I like him and all, but something is different. Or maybe it is me that has changed.

There is something to this, Lemonaide. I had a (bad in many ways) T who was also physically fragile. She had a difficult time with continuity between our sessions, and I consequently had a difficult time building trust - it makes sense. We even had several sessions that I cut short because she was in visible discomfort and probably should have canceled them.

It was a relief for me to find another therapist and let that one go. I found that I spent too much of my energy thinking about her state of health and not enough on why I was supposed to be there. The relationship was dysfunctional in other ways, and I've since discovered that she is not well regarded in the field :-( No wonder I was feeling so bad about our sessions. I wouldn't say that she was a totally bad T - we did some good work; but ultimately there came a time when I knew it was best for me to move on, and it was important that I listened to that inner voice when it spoke to me.

Maybe you should be trusting your intuition on this? Take a little break and interview a new T when you're ready for it?

pc

 

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