Posted by Daisym on September 1, 2008, at 21:35:07
In reply to Re: An Update - long, mild triggers » Daisym, posted by JayMac on September 1, 2008, at 2:52:00
It is difficult to think that we fight against our own unhappiness. My therapist described it this way - I seem to operate in a fairly narrow band-width. I keep fairly contained - not exuberant and not too emotional, on either end of the spectrum. When the band-width expands - due to happiness - the potential for other emotions also expands. So the good and bad go together in that I am capable of feeling more. Sometimes more really stinks.
I need to practice getting my brain to reopen when it closes down. We can see it happening - like an electric garage door that swings slowly shut. The words run away and I'm out the window. Last week I stopped talking mid-sentence. He said, "are you just going to leave me hanging here?" I stared at him - I had no idea that I'd stopped that way. He said he never knows how to help me when I get stuck like this. Sometimes asking questions opens things up but sometimes it makes it worse. I'm trying to get use to silence but it builds into anxiety for me. I think fear strangles the brain and it stops breathing. It is only later that I can really figure out what has happened.
Thanks for reading and the thoughtful response.
poster:Daisym
thread:849617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/849812.html