Posted by Tamar on September 1, 2008, at 16:07:38
In reply to Something is bothering me about my T, posted by lemonaide on September 1, 2008, at 1:50:22
Oh yes, the forgetting! I've had some experience of that phenomenon. My therapist has occasionally forgotten some things that were so important to me (and to our work in therapy) that I was incredibly upset and hurt.
It sounds to me as if there are several strands to your distress. At one level maybe you want him to remember your aspirations for grad school, partly because you've put so much work into your studies, but also because psychology is his professional field and you've asked him to be your mentor. So you've made a connection that has both personal and professional aspects, and it must hurt that he doesn't remember.
And not remembering your high GPA... well, obviously you want him to remember how well you've been doing. Maybe you want him to be proud of your achievements. I certainly would, if it were me.
And I can see why you're upset about his forgetting the emotional session in which he was persuaded that it might be a good idea for you to talk to your old T, especially because he'd agreed to feel out the situation. He forgot not just an important aspect of your work together, but also something he'd agreed to take responsibility for. Yeah, that would hurt me too.
The heart surgery might be the reason for his forgetting. Maybe because of the anaesthetic, or the stress, or the interruption to his work, or all those and other things combined.
I don't think it's a matter of being too hard on him, and you probably shouldn't worry about upsetting him. But I do think you should talk to him about it. Maybe you could say you've noticed that he has forgotten some things that are really important to you, and you're feeling hurt and distressed, but also concerned for him because it's unlike him. From everything you say, he's a good therapist, and he should be able to handle it sensitively and professionally.
poster:Tamar
thread:849616
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/849768.html