Posted by raisinb on July 2, 2008, at 12:06:24
In reply to What do you need when your T is away, posted by vwoolf on July 2, 2008, at 11:11:11
Hi vwoolf,
It always helps me when, before missing a session, my therapist says that I can call her if I need her. Somehow, this magically makes her "appear" in the back of my mind during the break, as opposed to her "disappearing" when the session ends.
But you said telephone contact doesn't help, so maybe the "reframing" suggestion is a good one.
Oddly enough, my therapist sometimes seems to make it worse by making a big deal out of it when she misses a session. I'll go in feeling pretty unworried about missing just one or two, and she'll say she feels like she's leaving me alone for a week, that it's a long time, that she wants me to know she is thinking about how hard it will be for me. Then I think, "Wait! It IS going to be hard. Now I am upset!" So maybe the solution is to ignore it :)
More seriously, I always find that keeping myself busy with friends and phone calls to family really helps. When my therapist is away, I worry that I am totally alone. Seeing other people who care shows me that being connected to the human race isn't contingent on her.
Also, I journal a lot, trying to assess my progress. I work hard to find little ways in which I've changed that I might have overlooked, in addition to the big things (if you keep a regular journal, the material is already there; you just have to go back through it.) This makes me feel really good and helps me like myself a little more, which is helpful when I feel abandoned. Also, it helps me look forward to the time when I can do for myself a little of what my therapist does for me--I start to know that I'll take this with me always, even if therapy ended tomorrow.
poster:raisinb
thread:837642
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/837652.html