Posted by Dinah on May 29, 2008, at 11:18:44
In reply to what is wrong with me?, posted by raisinb on May 29, 2008, at 11:08:37
When my therapist was out of the country, I eventually got to where I wasn't constantly distressed. But whenever I heard from him, I instantly started crying and obsessing about him.
I think it's a normal part of grieving someone who hasn't actually died.
It might or might not mean that you're not ready to quit seeing her. Just as your dreams might or might not be correct in contrast to your waking conscious thoughts. It's a different perspective, but neither is necessarily right. In my experience, the truth usually lies in the synthesis. When you acknowledge all you feel about her, and meld it into a total view that encompasses both extremes but is in itself not as extreme, you might find it's clearer.
It could be something like "She's neither all good nor all bad. She hurt me and she helped me. I miss her so much, but I recognize that I've learned all I can from her and it's time to move on. Even though I'll continue to miss her." Or it might be more like "She's hurt me so much, and I'm so angry with her, and I just want to stop this pain. But I recognize that I would benefit from working through this with her." Or it could be something else entirely.
Are you still having your dreams? Mine often stop once I discuss them.
poster:Dinah
thread:831880
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/831882.html