Posted by sunnydays on May 24, 2008, at 22:53:29
In reply to Re: so sad » sunnydays, posted by llurpsienoodle on May 23, 2008, at 19:16:35
> ((((((sunnydays))))))
>
> It sounds like it all piled up, and you're only human. Sometimes I've had a reactionary depression even when given "good changes". Strange how the body/mind reacts to stress, huh?*** I know... And the stress comes and goes. Sometimes I'm fine, and other time the anxiety and obsessive thinking seems to just take over. I think that computers make that easier. Email and not being able to hear tone of voice and such.
>
> It's probably not possible to call him and feel satisfied that you got "it" out (whatever it is). You sound like you need some reciprocity, but you're not likely to get it (in time?).*** Well... but I'm still wanting to call him. It wouldn't matter the timetable so much I don't think. But I do want to know that he hears me and mostly that feeling that it's going to be ok.
>
> Maybe you can think about what you'd like to say, and what would give you the most relief, and then do some guided imagery- what would T do/say to me if I disclosed this in session? Then you can practice saying it in your visualization and imagine that your Virtual T is there, helping, guiding, supporting, advising.**** I know what he'd say - but it's more wanting him to know (and care) what's going on with me in the moment. And I tend to do this thing where in a group project I feel like I have to take total responsibility upon myself for making sure that the project gets done (and done WELL), even though it's a collaborative effort. I feel the need to be a taskmaster. And I HATE it because it's so anxiety-provoking for me. My T and I are working on my giving up control. But it's hard. And I just want to talk to him and make sure I'm ok. And have HIM counter my "what ifs" because I have trouble believing myself, but if he says it, it feels more true.
>
> I'm so sorry- I wish he were more available to you :(
>
> -Ll*** I don't know. I wish I could still go twice a week. But the phone calls I understand. And usually during the school year he does get back to me within 24 hours (which is all his message promises). But during the summer when he's at home all the time he says he tends to forget to check his messages. Not that he doesn't want to call me, just that he's so involved in other things that it slips his mind to check his messages. But he does check them at least every few days. And if I really needed him in an emergency I could call the on-call at my school and they could get him. Theoretically I could call them to talk too. But I've never done it, so it scares me.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:830762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/830982.html