Posted by llurpsienoodle on May 13, 2008, at 22:55:05
I feel like such an ineffectual poster.
So many of you have given me precious advice that I hold dear to my heart. I don't feel confident that I do any such thing. Then I avoid supporting you to the extent that I feel you deserve as human beings and babble buddies. I feel really bad about this whole thing.
I don't have the wisdom I would expect from myself. It's really hard right now. I am hating myself, for not being there, and being absent, in many senses of the word. A large part of my self-esteem is tied up with my ability to help others. suffering other in pain.
//This post sounds selfish. yet another reason why I feel bad. There are so many ways I have of dealing with negative self-esteem, most of w\hich are unhealthy.
//
At this point it is the abilify and klonopin which are forcing my brain to slow down. and typing is gone. gone I tell you.
well, that's all for now.
I'm so sorry if I've hurt you. dissappointed. sent out misinterpretations of your posts. etc. I don't want to be irrelevant. I feel like I'm looking for validation, because if I'm not doing anything, I'd rather quit this forum and just go to medication, where things seem so much more cut and dry.
//
sorry for my midnight musings
//
sorry for being apologetic
ll
poster:llurpsienoodle
thread:828998
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080508/msgs/828998.html