Posted by Daisym on April 26, 2008, at 16:56:46
In reply to Getting into and out of his office...., posted by twinleaf on April 24, 2008, at 22:16:35
Sometimes I think it depends on the path to the office from the waiting room.
In my favorite office, my therapist has to come down the stairs to get me and then we go back up together. A few years ago, KK had a thread about her therapist watching her from behind and I mentioned the stairs. She made the funniest comment about "using it" as I climbed the stairs and to this day, I go up with her in my head and a half-smile on my face. We also have an ongoing joke about me being the consistent space holder in the waiting room - almost five years and lots of other people have come and gone and I'm still there...often I'm the only one there! I even greet the other therapists when they stick their head's in and their own clients aren't there yet, "just me here" and they laugh.
I tend to think of those moments of crossing worlds - going from my well guarded, professional self, into a place of vulnerability and safety. And because it is so loaded, it never feels graceful.
Leaving is always hard and he knows that. I almost always say, "I'm going to go now, or I need to leave" (like I have a choice) because I control the clock. I can't bear to be kicked out or dismissed. He stands and walks me to the door but then he always takes a step back when we get there. Recently I asked him if that was to avoid an unexepected hug (he doesn't hug or touch) and he said no, it was about making room for the client to leave. I said it looked self-protective. He said he'd think about that, he wasn't aware of it being.
I'll also add to this already overly long post that I think it is hard for our therapists when sessions don't end well - they are too abrupt or when we leave very upset or angry. I think that is why ending rituals are very important and why I try to wind down a few minutes early.
There is something just so personal about starting and stopping, isn't there?
poster:Daisym
thread:825299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080423/msgs/825616.html